Curbside chat with my
Soul
written by
Jeannette Zink
It was early, very early on a Monday morning when the train
arrived at Huntington Station. I boarded this very early train in my usual
automatic half-asleep mode. The seats vacantly awaiting my selection. With a
casual demarcation, I stake out my territory for the very early 30-minute ride
to our nation’s capital. The train car pleasantly toasty on this cold January morning,
for this I was immensely grateful. It was now my sacred time to rest my weary
early morning soul, disregard the quiet chatter of the other passengers and
dream of the day I could retire from this routinely stressful life.
Just as I was entering into that sleep state of
semiconscious and dreamland, I feel the essence of someone sliding down beside
me on this mostly empty train. Next, I vaguely hear words being spoken, as if
in the middle of a sentence with a good friend. “And, what are you doing with
your life today?” asked this character who had invaded my clearly marked space.
Since my eyes were closed and head leaned against the train’s frosty window, it
should have been a clarion signal to anyone that this is a Do Not Disturb area.
“Good morning, my lady, what do you plan to do with the rest
of your life?” asked the essence sitting next to me. “What did you say?” I
manage to mumble with as much disdain as possible, without being absolutely
obnoxious to my uninvited seatmate. “It’s a brand new day. I was just wondering
what you planned to do with your day. You must have something amazing planned
since it was given to you without any conditions.”
Just who do you think
you are, I want to say to this disturbing and inconvenient disruption to my
morning routine. But instead, I manage a
civil exchange … “Look, you may be in a pull
up a chair to the curb of my soul for a chat kind of mood, but I am not. I
respectfully ask that you go visit with someone else who would not object to an
early morning philosophical exchange of existentialism. Have a nice day.
Good-bye.”
“I could definitely move on,” said the phantasmagorical
nuisance denying me of my well-deserved quiet time. “But, you really need me
this morning. I am the one with the
answers you are desperately seeking.”
“Okay, I have tried to be polite, but you must leave me
alone, or I will call security!” “Go away, NOW!!!”
“I am so sorry to have bothered you this morning, my lady. I
want to leave you this very moment; I truly do, but I cannot.” “What do you
mean, you cannot?” I once again engage with this unpleasant thing sitting next to me.
“I know you don’t want to hear this, but I am attached to
you and cannot take flight like one of those planes at the airport that we just
passed. I am the gift you have been asking for each morning before you leave
your home. I am the answer.”
“Well, if you are the answer,
what is the question?” I play with
the vision at my side.
“You know, my lady. You ask God each morning to show you the
person you were intended to be and the path you are to travel. You ask God to
help you be a good person.”
“Are you trying to tell me that you were sent by God to
provide the answers to my questions and prayers?” I smirk to this thing that has unquestionably dismantled
my morning commute.
“You have elevated me far beyond my position in life, my lady.
I am not God’s FedEx service.” “I am
more like your wake-up call. You know … you wake up most mornings before your
alarm sounds, but the alarm goes off, anyway. You already know the time without
evening looking at the clock, but yet you let the alarm go off, anyway.”
“So, wake-up call,
what are you waking me up to?” I continue with the banter.
“I am waking you up to what you already know, my lady. God
has placed in your heart the answers that you seek. You just need to open the
proverbial door and step inside to greet the answers.”
Next stop, Union
Station in our nation’s capital … I hear the conductor announce.
“Good day, my lady. This is where we get off to start our
brand new day.” “The door is open … time to step through.”
I did step through the door on that very cold early Monday
morning January day, but not the same as I had begun on that morning’s journey.
I felt warm in my confidence that all the answers I needed were no longer
hidden in some mystical corner of the universe, but stood tall and in plain
sight within me. I just needed to open the door and greet each answer with
respect. The sigh of relief was not mine, but that of the answers that had been
begging me to release them from their place in wait … for me to open the door.
May your questions be the friend that waits by your side
until you find the courage to open the door and greet all the answers you will
ever need.
Peace and love, my kindred spirits.
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